There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
where are my pants?
in the oven.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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