Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
