i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
