Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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