grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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