doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
