omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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