he shaved USA in his pubs
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
