After last night, I could never be a politician.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I need moral support for this bender
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
