Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
