Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
