No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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