Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
