He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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