he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
