it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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