i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
