Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
