Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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