I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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