Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
