i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
