I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
