Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
