I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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