Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
