Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
