you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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