how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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