Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.