Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.

(1-561): View more from Florida

He looks like a bad one night stand.

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(561): Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced. (1-561): He looks like a bad one night stand. http://tfl.nu/5suu

Replies (52) Good night (725) Bad night (2739)
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(631): View more from New York

sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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(631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu

Replies (113) Good night (1201) Bad night (6376)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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(320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl

Replies (38) Good night (1942) Bad night (5430)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."

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(330): I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex." http://tfl.nu/3mha

Replies (25) Good night (7054) Bad night (1247)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.

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(978): Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win. http://tfl.nu/r148

Replies (13) Good night (8907) Bad night (1100)
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(805): View more from California

I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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(805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6

Replies (5) Good night (3493) Bad night (1162)
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(516): View more from New York

This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.

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(516): This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me. http://tfl.nu/6e09

Replies (8) Good night (3058) Bad night (862)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Did everyone make it back alive?

(309): View more from Illinois

You say that with such hope.

(217): View more from Illinois

Is that a no?

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(217): Did everyone make it back alive? (309): You say that with such hope. (217): Is that a no? http://tfl.nu/rkmk

Replies (3) Good night (3393) Bad night (1095)
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(646): View more from New York

I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

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(646): I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies... http://tfl.nu/y6hf

Replies (8) Good night (1991) Bad night (727)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

(1-615): View more from Tennessee

Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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(615): I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls. (1-615): Who in tha hell do u hang out with? http://tfl.nu/cxra

Replies (5) Good night (2204) Bad night (749)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.

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(802): I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind. http://tfl.nu/o69z

Replies (1) Good night (1220) Bad night (633)
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(928): View more from Arizona

I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!

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(928): I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night! http://tfl.nu/vne9

Replies (0) Good night (1172) Bad night (380)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

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(603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp

Replies (1) Good night (772) Bad night (415)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR

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(416): Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR http://tfl.nu/4v5r

Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (383)
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(055): View more from

Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore

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(055): Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore http://tfl.nu/06vj

Replies (5) Good night (626) Bad night (323)

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