when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I want is dick and wine.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
