Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
