If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.