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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  How wet are you?

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  Ever heard of a U-boat?

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• (254): View more from Texas

  oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  So you're drunk waiting for the bus.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex

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