Texts From Last Night

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  (951): View more from California

  now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.

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  (951): now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria. http://tfl.nu/9jm0
  Replies (29) Good night (665) Bad night (6386)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them

  (718): View more from New York

  pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed

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  (203): there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them (718): pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed http://tfl.nu/7id4
  Replies (31) Good night (11396) Bad night (1134)
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  (315): View more from New York

  They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

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  (315): They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it. http://tfl.nu/5i1a
  Replies (12) Good night (8313) Bad night (1112)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high

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  (610): he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high http://tfl.nu/1b4w
  Replies (2) Good night (1583) Bad night (816)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.

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  (701): Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring. http://tfl.nu/lp7n
  Replies (4) Good night (2162) Bad night (771)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.

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  (623): It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too. http://tfl.nu/xu8j
  Replies (15) Good night (650) Bad night (3307)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..

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  (570): I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going.. http://tfl.nu/xhce
  Replies (4) Good night (716) Bad night (1711)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.

  (858): View more from California

  That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.

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  (317): They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof. (858): That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car. http://tfl.nu/twx7
  Replies (6) Good night (727) Bad night (724)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?

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  (954): In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in? http://tfl.nu/qdxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1445) Bad night (437)
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  (858): View more from California

  It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life

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  (858): It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life http://tfl.nu/86aw
  Replies (6) Good night (570) Bad night (1006)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee

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  (904): I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee http://tfl.nu/enfq
  Replies (18) Good night (700) Bad night (1567)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30

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  (845): I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30 http://tfl.nu/ce0m
  Replies (1) Good night (879) Bad night (468)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.

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  (301): He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship. http://tfl.nu/zlr0
  Replies (7) Good night (916) Bad night (376)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this

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  (706): Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this http://tfl.nu/g9na
  Replies (5) Good night (982) Bad night (510)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.

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  (586): The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/pfab
  Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (608)

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