Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  who won?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  THAT is your concern right now?

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  (647): on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest.. (1-647): who won? (647): THAT is your concern right now? http://tfl.nu/f9cv
  Replies (14) Good night (4859) Bad night (883)
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  (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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  (315): idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever. http://tfl.nu/p80i
  Replies (11) Good night (8867) Bad night (1243)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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  (914): Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him http://tfl.nu/h9ln
  Replies (23) Good night (6240) Bad night (1813)
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  (585): View more from New York

  when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood

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  (585): when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood http://tfl.nu/vfy0
  Replies (12) Good night (9353) Bad night (1373)
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  (345): View more from Cayman Islands

  Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful

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  (345): Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful http://tfl.nu/njho
  Replies (8) Good night (3569) Bad night (1132)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.

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  (850): Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am. http://tfl.nu/2bm2
  Replies (9) Good night (2179) Bad night (1053)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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  (770): You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/2qpc
  Replies (5) Good night (2318) Bad night (723)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.

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  (515): I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower. http://tfl.nu/kyot
  Replies (20) Good night (1403) Bad night (2374)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.

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  (410): You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it. http://tfl.nu/i008
  Replies (6) Good night (1597) Bad night (474)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!

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  (210): Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!! http://tfl.nu/6efz
  Replies (10) Good night (592) Bad night (1205)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.

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  (608): AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY. http://tfl.nu/l84n
  Replies (2) Good night (856) Bad night (493)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been sober in 4 days.

  (1-224): View more from Illinois

  Then be sober

  (224): View more from Illinois

  No.

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  (224): I haven't been sober in 4 days. (1-224): Then be sober (224): No. http://tfl.nu/ylow
  Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (440)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.

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  (765): Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times. http://tfl.nu/e7uk
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (375)
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  (518): View more from New York

  It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected

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  (518): It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected http://tfl.nu/wv1f
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it

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  (978): there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit (978): no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it http://tfl.nu/4glv
  Replies (1) Good night (424) Bad night (633)

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