we have officially lost it.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I chose taco bell over sex...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
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That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
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I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it