You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
