Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
