The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
