Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
