I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
