Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
