Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I sprained my soul last night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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