I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
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i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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