Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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