I'm lost and stupid without you.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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