I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
