my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize