I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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