maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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