I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
