Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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