i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
