I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
