He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
