I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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