so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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