So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
