More tranny stories later!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Enjoy the penises
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
