Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
