i don't plan on having that self control this summer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
