His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
