Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
