Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Randomize
