how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
