First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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