Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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