I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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