Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize