I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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