I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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