maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
smell my finger.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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