Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize