I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize