Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
