I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
