this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
