it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize