you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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