my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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